In a world where women can unfriend each other with the swipe of a finger, how do we find friendships that we can trust to last? Maybe by first becoming those kinds of lasting friends ourselves.
As the community manager at the website incourage.me since 2010, Lisa-Jo Baker has had the chance to engage hundreds of conversations with women about friendship. She’s learned that no one can make us quite as unsure about ourselves as another woman. And nothing can wound as deeply as unkind words from a friend. While we are all hungry for friendship, it’s the fear of feeling awkward and being rejected, left out, or hurt (again) that often keep us from connecting.
But what if we knew we could never be unfriended? Would we risk friendship then?
Starting with that guarantee from the most faithful friend who ever lived—Jesus—this book is a step-by-step guide to friendships you can trust. It answers the questions that lurk under the surface of every friendship—What are we afraid of? What can’t we change? What can we change? And where do we start?—with personal stories and practical tips to help you make the friends, and be the friend, that lasts.
3.5 / 5 STARS
First, let me say thank you to the publisher, B & H Publishing, for sending me a copy of this book for review.
Second, let me acknowledge that I am marking this book as DNF (did not finish) as of now.
This book is what we would label as a Christian Living book. Which, as a minister’s wife, I tend to learn and grow from. This book had a lot of potential, as its topic is one of the most common aspects of female friendships. The premise behind this book is to help you understand why most female friendships tend to not be deep rooted or lasting. As a female in my mid-twenties, I can say that this is a very hurtful truth but a truth nonetheless. Female friendships suffer from more stigma, competitiveness, and emotional barriers than most other relationships in our day to day lives.
Things I did like about this book: I felt that this book went straight to the gut of the issue. It talks about how often the problem is a lack of vulnerability, and a willingness to not offer the unfiltered version of yourself up in friendships. The author walks you through stories and circumstances where being honest with very real, and perhaps not pretty parts of our lives, can often be the most freeing for most us and the other person. Being vulnerable in friendships allows the other person to do the same.
Things I did not like about this book: While I, myself, have found the above to true, I have also found it to be hurtful. As in, you open up to someone else in friendship. You offer the deepest, most broken parts of yourself, wanting a deeper connection only to have the other person reject you in some way. It’s hurtful, and creates more of an emotional barrier for you to overcome the next time. I didn’t see her delve into that at all. Granted, I am not finishing this book, so it might have show up later. (I’m finishing around 75% though.) Also, at first this book was incredible thoughtful and rich in its realness, but over time it became repetitive. Over and over again, she kept saying how the issue was our lack of opening ourselves up.
Also also, I didn’t like that the title Never Unfriended made it seem like after this, you would never lose a friend again. Which, is highly unlikely to be the case.